Grief Revised.

From the storms of grief

grow flowers of such misfortune

that we are to eventually some day know,


they will leave us


to forget.


Triggered my past



I was watching a local TV drama last night. It felt very familiar in a strange way. Watching a depressed young character. It was like he was saying goodbye then seemed happy. I knew what was coming up. But went into denial. After all its just a TV show. Just actors.

Then the scene happened finding him after a suicide attempt. The acting was brilliant. Very real the actors whom played the family. Looked like they were going through it in real life.

Then it hit me. Like a tone of fucken bricks. (Sorry for swearing but I’m trying to be real). It dawned on me what my mother must have gone through finding me after both my suicide attempts. Heart wrenching.

I picked up the phone in tears telling her how a show had triggered such emotions. I blurted out mummy I’m so sorry for what I did. She…

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An Often Wondered Why.

Why do people find it funny to make people mad for fun?

And then wonder why,

When the shit hit’s the fan,

The blood,

And the gut’s,

Bullets, gore,

Missing people,

Decapitated heads,

Refrigerated breasts,

Eyes in a jar..

Etc and whatever more..

Do some ask themselves,

What the fuck did I go and wind them up for!!!

And do some wonder,

Wonder what would happen,

If I wind some other up, even more…….