urgh

been feeling depressed again.
just got to live through it.
oh the irony.
the eyes don’t cry though.
is not sadness, it’s more of a gloom.
just glum natured at times I suppose.
it goes.

Ambience

Where’s the ambient music night clubs?

Where everyone just sits there not saying anything all night.

Looking at the floor reflectively braindead.

Like. And a shift in the droning sounds causes them to all look out the window in unison,

somehow..

then, another shift in the algorithm, that,

that causes them to no longer look out of the window!

no! but at it!

 

..instead..

and as well; to all sip their glass of water with a just a drop of lemon, (fresh of course),

At the same time!

..do they even exist? maybe it’s something for the actual end of the world.. where everything just fades… away…. forever.. and ever..until;

BANG!

It starts all over again.

I Saved A Spider Today

Saved a spider. It was floating in the water bowl outside. I saw it’s legs twitching, struggling for life. I put my hand in and scooped it out so it got to my skin as the water drained out. Held it to a flower and onto it it climbed. Saved. I didn’t do it for karma, I don’t believe in karma. I see life/nature as a cruel irrational bitch really, it’s only redemption is the beauty in it’s creations, and that don’t last when you see a man with his child’s skull blown wide open. What good karma’s ever going to compensate for that atrocity then?? Totally f**king nothing. I saved a spider so it can enjoy it better world than ours. I aint bitter about that.

Impossible Reality~

The universe failed.
I was gutted.
I made a noose out of my own entrails.
I hung myself from a tree of arcane objectivism.
My heart and mind against all life.
I hang in a suspended state of decay.
Unable to completely die.
Forever.
Aware of nothing, but mind and how endless,
This is of a valuable loss.

 

~thank God!